When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka English.' by Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

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QuoteWorld :: Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] :: When you die, if you go somewh...

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"When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka English.'" - Copy to Clipboard

-- Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

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Listed in: Death, Evil, Learning, Life

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Top 5 quotes from Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."
"Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a 'shell' if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags."
"I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!"
"I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense."
"I don't think I'm ever more 'aware' than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer."

Top 5 quotes from Death, Evil, Learning, Life

"Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life."
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"He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils for time is the greatest innovator."
"It seems to me that those songs that have been any good, I have nothing much to do with the writing of them. The words have just crawled down my sleeve and come out on the page."
"You never find yourself until you face the truth."

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