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"I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president." - Copy to Clipboard
-- Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
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Listed in: Hope , Wishing
Top 5 quotes from Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, ummmm, boy."
"Of all the warning sounds that animals make, I think the one that's the least effective on me is a kind of clicking noise."
"Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!"
"I'm telling you, just attach a big parachute TO THE PLANE ITSELF! Is anyone listening to me?!"
"I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear."
Top 5 quotes from Hope, Wishing