Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that 'wishing' isn't going to save our national forests. by Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

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QuoteWorld :: Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] :: Instead of putting a quarter u...

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"Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that 'wishing' isn't going to save our national forests." - Copy to Clipboard

-- Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

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Listed in: Art, Hope, Learning, Wishing

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Top 5 quotes from Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."
"Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a 'shell' if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags."
"I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!"
"I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense."
"I don't think I'm ever more 'aware' than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer."

Top 5 quotes from Art, Hope, Learning, Wishing

"Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life."
"It is a secret both in nature and state, that it is safer to change many things than one."
"He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils for time is the greatest innovator."
"If a man will begin in certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin in doubts he shall end in certainties."
"Nothing is to be feared but fear."

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