If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a certain lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that will tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing. by Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

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QuoteWorld :: Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] :: If I ever do a book on the Ama...

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"If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a certain lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that will tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing." - Copy to Clipboard

-- Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

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Listed in: Ability, Art, Books, Darkness, Hope, Light, Reading, Wishing

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Top 5 quotes from Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."
"Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a 'shell' if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags."
"I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!"
"I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense."
"I don't think I'm ever more 'aware' than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer."

Top 5 quotes from Ability, Art, Books, Darkness, Hope, Light, Reading, Wishing

"Watch out for the fellow who talks about putting things in order! Putting things in order always means getting other people under your control."
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"I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labor of the industrious."
"It is a secret both in nature and state, that it is safer to change many things than one."
"He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils for time is the greatest innovator."

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