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George Carlin
:: Death is caused by swallowing ...
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"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time." -
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--
George Carlin
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Death
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Love
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Top 5 quotes from George Carlin
"We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."
"I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed."
"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution."
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
Top 5 quotes from Death, Love
"There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy."
"A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost--he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over."
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."
"Don't lay any certain plans for the future; it is like planting toads and expecting to raise toadstools."
"The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm."
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