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George Carlin
:: Death is caused by swallowing ...
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"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time." -
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George Carlin
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Love
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Top 5 quotes from George Carlin
"I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed."
"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution."
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."
Top 5 quotes from Death, Love
"By a tranquil mind I mean nothing else than a mind well ordered."
"There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em."
"How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks."
"It is a secret both in nature and state, that it is safer to change many things than one."
"I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain."
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