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George Carlin
:: Baseball is the only major spo...
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"Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror." -
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George Carlin
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Top 5 quotes from George Carlin
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
"I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed."
"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution."
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
Top 5 quotes from Baseball
"Always be a little kinder than necessary."
"Happiness sneaks through a door you didn't know that you left open."
"Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God."
"The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love."
"If you have made a mistake, cut your losses as quickly as possible."
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