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Dave Barry
:: If you surveyed a hundred typi...
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"If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies." -
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Dave Barry
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Top 5 quotes from Dave Barry
"Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou."
"Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it."
"The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on."
"And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose."
Top 5 quotes from America
"By a tranquil mind I mean nothing else than a mind well ordered."
"There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em."
"How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks."
"It is a secret both in nature and state, that it is safer to change many things than one."
"I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain."
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