Comedy quotes by Author Unknown

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Quotes by Author Unknown in Comedy category:

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"The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money."
"Your schooling may be over, but remember that your education still continues."
"We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails."
"There are so many men who can figure costs, and so few who can measure values."
"Put your future in good hands - your own."
"Know your limits... but never stop trying to exceed them."
"We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet."
"If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time."
"When the horse is dead, get off."
"This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anyone could have."
"God has not called us to see through each other, but to see each other through."
"If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it."
"When you dig another out of their troubles, you find a place to bury your own."
"Go the extra mile. It's never crowded."
"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world."
"A good example has twice the value of good advice."
"Instead of counting your days, make your days count."
"Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street."
"A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future."
"Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half."
"Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships."
"Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie."