Famous Quotes on Wishing

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns---regular sun and 'rogue' sun. That way, when somebody asked me what time it was, I'd say, 'Regular time?' And they'd say, 'Yeah.' And I'd say, 'Sorry, all I have is rogue time.' It'd be fun to be a stuck-up rogue-time guy."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that 'wishing' isn't going to save our national forests."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat so much."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe there would be thousands of other people shrunken down to ant-size, and we would get together and dig tunnels down into the ground and live there. But don't ever call us 'ants,' because we hate that."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it. First, you sit the patient down and have a long personal talk. After that, I'm not sure, but maybe you could throw some water in his face or something."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Whenever anyone says 'I can't,' it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says 'I'll try,' five thousand bees. ('I can,' one bee.)"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish my name was Todd, because then I could say, 'Yes, my name's Todd. Todd Blankenship.' Oh, also I wish my last name was Blankenship."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick 'Americans' as their mascot."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, 'Looking for gold, ya durn fool.' He'd say, 'Your pick is gold.' And I'd say, 'well, that was easy.' Good joke, huh?"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
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Browse Wishing quotes by Author:

Adel Bestavros	Aesop	Alan Marshall Beck
Albert Einstein	Aldous Leonard Huxley	Alfred Bernhard Nobel
Alighieri Dante	Allan K. Chalmers	Anais Nin
Anna Mary Robertson Moses	Anne Spencer Morrow Lindbergh	Ann Landers
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov	Aristotle	Arnold H. Glasgow
Barbara Bush	Bible	Bill Cosby
B. A. Billingsly	Carl Gustav Jung	Carter Hodding
Charles Caleb Colton	Charles Dickens	Charles Augustus Lindbergh
Charles Franklin Kettering	Clive Staples Lewis	Confucius
Corazón Cojuangco Aquino	Curtis Grant	Daniel Hudson Burnham
Dean Koontz	Demosthenes	Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Dr. Samuel Johnson	Dr. Thomas Fuller	Dwight David Eisenhower
Earl Nightingale	Edward Kennedy	Edward Morgan Forster
Ed Lindeman	Elaine Agather	Emily Elizabeth Dickinson
Emil Brunner	Epictetus	Epicurus
Erica Mann Jong	Erich Fromm	Erma Louise Bombeck
Ernest Miller Hemingway	Fawn M. Brodie	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky
Florence Nightingale	Francis Eliza Hodgson Burnett	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
F(rancis) Scott	Gaius Julius Caesar	George Eliot
George Frederick Handel	George Herbert	George Herbert Walker Bush
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Giordano Bruno
Gordon William Allport	Greenday	Guy Albert Lombardo
Hannah Nixon	Harriet Du Autermont	Hebrews 11:1-2 Bible
Henry Ford	Heraclitus	Hodding Carter
Horace	Häfiz	Irvin Shrewsbury Cobb
Ivan Illich	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jacques Cousteau
Javan	Jean Kerr	Jerry Coleman
Jesse Louis Jackson	Joe Moore	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Johathan Edwards	John Anthony Ciardi	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gay	John Johnson	John Perry Barlow
John Quincy Adams	Joseph Addison	Joseph Conrad
Joseph Joubert	Josh Billings	Juvenal
J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran	Kalidasa
Karen Lamb	Katherine Mansfield	Ken Lancaster
Lady Nancy Astor	Laertius Diogenes	Learned Hand
Lillian Hellman	Lyndon Baines Johnson	Madeleine L'Engle
Marcus Tullius Cicero	Martin Luther	Mary Catherine Bateson
Mignon McLaughlin	Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi	Napolean Bonaparte
Napoleon I	Niccolo Machiavelli	Nicholas Boileau
Nigel Kneale	Noel Coward	Norman Cousins
Ogden Nash	Oliver Goldsmith	Oliver Herford
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.	Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.	Oriana Fallaci
Orison Swett Marden	Patrice Gifford	Patrick Henry
Peter F(erdinand) Drucker	Pierre Corneille	Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Kiner	Reinhold Niebuhr	Richard Dawkins
Richard David Bach	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Charles Benchley	Robert Edward Lee	Robert Francis Kennedy
Robert Green Ingersoll	Rose Elizabeth Bird	Saint Augustine
Adela Rogers St. Johns	Samuel Taylor Coleridge	Sextus Julius Frontinus
Sid Ceaser	Sigmund Freud	Sir Francis Bacon
Sir Isaiah Berlin	Sir James Matthew Barrie	Sir John Lubbock
Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill	Susanna Moodie	Swedish Carol
Søren Aaby Kierkegaard	Thomas Hardy	Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Arnold	Thomas Edward Bodett	Thomas Mann
Thomas à Kempis	Tom Clancy	Tryon Edwards
Ursala Lequin	Ursula K. LeGuin	Vartan Gregorian
Václav Havel	Walter Benjamin	Walter Savage Landor
Wendell Berry	Wilfred Wilson Gibson	William Hazlitt
William Cowper	William James "Will" Durant	William Least Heat Moon
William S. Gilbert	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
Zora Neale Hurston	Æschylus