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"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face." Dave Barry 4.2500 average rating Rate this Quote
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday." Dave Barry 2.6667 average rating Rate this Quote
"Please excuse Mary. She is having problems with her ovals." Dave Barry 1.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Please excuse Fred Friday from school. He has very loose vowels." Dave Barry 1.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Fred was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing area." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps." Dave Barry 3.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Please excuse Fred from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and misplaced his hip." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Please ackuse Fred being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Too many rocks in the mountains." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals." Dave Barry 1.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals." Dave Barry 1.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
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Browse Stupidity quotes by Author:
Abraham Lincoln Abraham Maslow Albert Einstein
Alexandre Dumas Ambrose Bierce Baron de la Brede et de Montesquieu
Benjamin Franklin Benjamin "Dizzy" Disraeli Bernard Berenson
Bertrand Russell Bill Cosby Bokonon
Charles Caleb Colton Charles De Gaulle Charles J. C. Lyall
Clarence Seward Darrow Confucius Dave Barry
Dennis Miller Doris Fleeson Dorothy Parker
Douglas Adams Dwight David Eisenhower Edwin H. Land
Elbert Hubbard Epictetus Erma Louise Bombeck
Fran Lebowitz Frank Leahy Gamal Abdel Nasser
General Charles De Gaulle George Bernard Shaw George Carlin
Groucho Marx Gustave Flaubert Harlan Ellison
Henny Youngman Henry Ford Henry Graham Greene
Homer Simpson Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] Jean de LaBruyere
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe John F. Kennedy John Knowles
John Stuart Mill Jon Bentley J(ames) William Fulbright
Kahlil Gibran Katharine Houghton Hepburn Lee C. Bollinger
Lord Billingsley Marcus Tullius Cicero Martin Luther King, Jr.
Maxim Gorky Mike Tyson Napolean Bonaparte
Nick Diamos Oscar Wilde Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rick Moranis Rodney Dangerfield Simone de Beauvoir
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Stephen King Tom Clancy
Vartan Gregorian Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov W. Somerset Maugham
Will Rogers William Wister Haines Woody Allen
Yogi Berra Æschylus  





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