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"Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00" Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable." Dave Barry 4.5000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?" Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Black holes are where God divided by zero." Dave Barry 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain." Dave Barry 4.6667 average rating Rate this Quote
"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?" Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Many people quit looking for work when they find a job." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have." Dave Barry 4.6667 average rating Rate this Quote
"I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." Dave Barry 3.7500 average rating Rate this Quote
"Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
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Browse Stupidity quotes by Author:
Abraham Lincoln Abraham Maslow Albert Einstein
Alexandre Dumas Ambrose Bierce Baron de la Brede et de Montesquieu
Benjamin Franklin Benjamin "Dizzy" Disraeli Bernard Berenson
Bertrand Russell Bill Cosby Bokonon
Charles Caleb Colton Charles De Gaulle Charles J. C. Lyall
Clarence Seward Darrow Confucius Dave Barry
Dennis Miller Doris Fleeson Dorothy Parker
Douglas Adams Dwight David Eisenhower Edwin H. Land
Elbert Hubbard Epictetus Erma Louise Bombeck
Fran Lebowitz Frank Leahy Gamal Abdel Nasser
General Charles De Gaulle George Bernard Shaw George Carlin
Groucho Marx Gustave Flaubert Harlan Ellison
Henny Youngman Henry Ford Henry Graham Greene
Homer Simpson Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] Jean de LaBruyere
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe John F. Kennedy John Knowles
John Stuart Mill Jon Bentley J(ames) William Fulbright
Kahlil Gibran Katharine Houghton Hepburn Lee C. Bollinger
Lord Billingsley Marcus Tullius Cicero Martin Luther King, Jr.
Maxim Gorky Mike Tyson Napolean Bonaparte
Nick Diamos Oscar Wilde Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rick Moranis Rodney Dangerfield Simone de Beauvoir
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Stephen King Tom Clancy
Vartan Gregorian Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov W. Somerset Maugham
Will Rogers William Wister Haines Woody Allen
Yogi Berra Æschylus  
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