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"In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has."
Mark Twain
"Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man - the biography of the man himself cannot be written."
Mark Twain
"All religions issue bibles against him, and say most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side."
Mark Twain
"It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive."
Mark Twain
"What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense."
Mark Twain
"There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice."
Mark Twain
"In all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane."
Mark Twain
"The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house."
Woody Allen
"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."
Woody Allen
"Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown."
Woody Allen
"Someone said, "The dead writers are remote from us because we know so much more than they did." Precisely, and they are that which we know."
T.S. Eliot
"To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life."
T.S. Eliot
"I have heard that nothing gives an Author so great Pleasure, as to find his Works respectfully quoted by other learned Authors."
Benjamin Franklin
"Wine is sure proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."
Benjamin Franklin
"Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul."
Henry Van Dyke
"The best rose-bush, after all, is not that which has the fewest thorns, but that which bears the finest roses."
Henry Van Dyke
"Sin is geographical."
Bertrand Russell
"If one man offers you democracy and another offers you a bag of grain, at what stage of starvation will you prefer the grain to the vote?"
Bertrand Russell
"The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a stone, is really, if physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the stone upon himself."
Bertrand Russell
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