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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"There is luxury in self-reproach.... When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right to blame us."	Oscar Wilde
"The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention."	Oscar Wilde
"I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Rennaisance."	Steven Wright
"Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer."	Elbert Hubbard
"The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary."	Elbert Hubbard
"If we cannot be happy and powerful and prey on others, we invent conscience and prey on ourselves."	Elbert Hubbard
"A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist."	Elbert Hubbard
"Editor: A person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed."	Elbert Hubbard
"The professional military mind is by necessity an inferior and unimaginative mind; no man of high intellectual quality would willingly imprison his gifts in such a calling."	H.G. Wells
"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."	Douglas Adams
"Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer."	Douglas Adams
"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen."	Douglas Adams
"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."	Albert Einstein
"Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper."	Albert Einstein
"Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both."	Oscar Wilde
"Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a question of nerves, and fibers, and slowly built-up cells in which thought hides itself and passion has its dreams."	Oscar Wilde
"House, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe."	Ambrose Bierce
"I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him."	Abraham Lincoln
"If you are as happy, my dear sir, on entering this house as I am in leaving it and returning home, you are the happiest man in this country."	Abraham Lincoln
"Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever."	Mark Twain
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Abraham Lincoln	Albert Camus	Albert Einstein
Ambrose Bierce	Author Unknown	Benjamin Disraeli
Benjamin Franklin	Bertrand Russell	Blaise Pascal
Charles Caleb Colton	Christopher Morley	Dave Barry
D.H. Lawrence	Dorothy Parker	Doug Larson
Douglas Adams	E.B. White	Edgar Watson Howe
Elbert Hubbard	Emily Dickinson	Erich Fromm
Francis Bacon	Fred Allen	Friedrich Nietzsche
George Bernard Shaw	George Eliot	George Santayana
George Washington	Gloria Steinem	Henry Van Dyke
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow	Henry Ward Beecher	H.G. Wells
John F. Kennedy	John Greenleaf Whittier	Jonathan Swift
Josh Billings	Kahlil Gibran	Mae West
Mahatma Gandhi	Malcolm X	Marianne Moore
Mark Twain	Olin Miller	Oliver Wendell Holmes
Orson Welles	Oscar Wilde	Pablo Picasso
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Richard Bach
Ring Lardner	Robert Browning	Robert G. Ingersoll
Steven Wright	Sydney Smith	Theodore Roosevelt
Thomas Aquinas	Thomas Jefferson	Thomas Paine
Tom Stoppard	T.S. Eliot	Victor Hugo
W. Somerset Maugham	Walt Whitman	W.C. Fields
William Blake	William Shakespeare	Woody Allen
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