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"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny." Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] 4.6667 average rating Rate this Quote
"If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rattrap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him." Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] 3.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests? Just a big bag of blood." Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered they were not Indians at all, but dirty clothes hampers." Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway." Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] 4.1250 average rating Rate this Quote
"I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like 'Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me?' or 'Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed?' Man, quit being so cheap!" Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] 2.5625 average rating Rate this Quote
"It matters if you just don't give up." Stephen William Hawking 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"The man who gives up accomplishes nothing and is only a hindrance. The man who does not give up can move mountains." Ernest Hello 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined." Patrick Henry 4.5556 average rating Rate this Quote
"From one Soul of the Universe are all Souls derived. . .Of these Souls there are many changes, some into a more fortunate estate, and some quite contrary. . .Not all human souls but only the pious ones are divine. Once separated from the body, and after the struggle to acquire piety, which consists in knowing God and injuring none, such a soul becomes all intelligence. The impious soul, however, punishes itself by seeking a human body to enter into, for no other body can receive a human soul; it cannot enter the body of an animal devoid of reason. Divine law preserves the human soul from such infamy. . .The soul passeth from form to form; and the mansions of her pilgrimage are manifold. Thou puttest off thy bodies as raiment; and as vesture dost thou fold them up. Thou art from old, O Soul of Man; yea, thou art from everlasting." Hermes 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; While others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before." Heroditus 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else." Herman Hesse 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Success seems to be connected with action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." Conrad Hilton 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and conjurors - they terrify me. Scientists are no problem; against them I feel quite confident." James P. Hogan 1.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"No matter what we want of life we have to give up something in order to get it." Raymond Holliwel 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash through...whatever we see a negative state, that is where we can destroy it." Vernon Howard 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Never give up on anybody." Hubert H. Humphrey 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Sit down before fact like a little child, and be prepared to give up every preconceived notion. Follow humbly wherever and to whatever abyss Nature leads, or you shall learn nothing." Thomas Henry Huxley 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whatever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing." Thomas Henry Huxley 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"You must not for one instant give up the effort to build new lives for yourselves. Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway to life. This is not an easy struggle. Indeed, it may be the most difficult task in the world, for opening the door to your own life is, in the end, more difficult than opening the doors to the mysteries of the universe." Daisaku Ikeda 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
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Agatha Christie Alan Marshall Beck Albert Camus
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Benjamin "Dizzy" Disraeli Colin Greenwood Confucius
Conrad Hilton Daisaku Ikeda Daniel J(oseph) Boorstin
Doris Lessing Douglas MacArthur Douglas Noel Adams
Dr. David M. Burns Edwin Hubbel Chapin Elizabeth II
Ella Fitzgerald Ernest Hello Frank Luntz
George Eliot George Herbert Allen George Washington Carver
Golda Meir G Gaia Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Louis Mencken Herman Hesse Hermes
Heroditus Hubert H. Humphrey I Ching
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] James P. Hogan John Dewey
Joseph Conrad Kingman Brewster, Jr. Marcus Tullius Cicero
Michael Jordon Michel Eyquem de Montaigne Mike McLaren
Nadia Boulanger Nigel Kneale Patrick Henry
Paul Eldridge Paul Gruchow Ralph Waldo Emerson
Raymond Holliwel Richard Exely Richard Milhouse Nixon
Richard Needham Robert Montgomery Samuel Butler
Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill Stephen William Hawking Thomas Henry Huxley
T. Lehrer T. S. Eliot Vernon Howard
Vincent Thomas "Vince" Lombardi Wanda Carter William S. Gilbert
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham    
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