Famous Quotes on Humor

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes the whole universe for a vast practical joke."	Herman Melville
"The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence."	Henry Louis Mencken
"Silence will not betray your thoughts but the expression on your face will. Humor has a hundred faces; tragedy only a few."	H. G. Mendelson
"One has to be a lowbrow, a bit of a murderer, to be a politician, ready and willing to see people sacrificed, slaughtered, for the sake of an idea, whether a good one or a bad one."	Henry Miller
"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on."	Bob Newhart
"All you earnest young men out to save the world … please, have a laugh."	Reinhold Niebuhr
"And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh."	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
"And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh."	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
"What starts the process, really, are laughs and slights and snubs when you are a kid. ... If your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance."	Richard Milhouse Nixon
"Humor is reason gone mad."	Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."	Groucho Marx
"Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer."	Douglas Adams
"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen."	Douglas Adams
"I have just got a new theory of eternity."	Albert Einstein
"She's got to learn to reconcile herself to being Mrs Aristotle Onassis because the only place she'll find sympathy from now on is in the dictionary between shit and syphilis."	Aristotle
"[Find a priest] who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin."	Aristotle
"Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown."	Woody Allen
"Every survival kit should include a sense of humor."	Author Unknown
"A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted."	Author Unknown
"A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't."	Author Unknown
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Abraham Lincoln	Alan Alda	Albert Einstein
Allison Kearney	Amy Grant	Anne Frank
Ann Landers	Anthony Burgess	Aristotle
Arnold H. Glasgow	Author Unknown	Becky Alunan
Bennett Alfred Cerf	Bertolt Brecht	Bill Cosby
Bill Bryson	Bob Newhart	Boy George
B. J. Gupta	Charles De Gaulle	Charles Hendrickson Brower
Clarence Seward Darrow	Clifton Paul Fadiman	Cullen Hightower
Dan Fielding	Dean Koontz	Dick Clark
Dorothy Parker	Douglas Adams	D(avid) H(erbert) Lawrence
Edgar Watson Howe	Edward Albee	Elbert Hubbard
Ellie Katz	Elsa Maxwell	Eric Idle
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Ethel Barrymore
Eugene Lam	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Frank A. Clark
Fred Allen	Freeman John Dyson	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
George	George Burns	George Carlin
George Barrell Cheever	George Gordon	George Gordon Byron
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Gloria Steinem
Golda Meir	Gordon William Allport	Groucho Marx
Helen Hayes	Henny Youngman	Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Cate, VII	Henry Elliot	Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Miller	Herbert Gardner	Herman Melville
Hilaire Belloc	Homer McLin	H. G. Mendelson
Isaac Asimov	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jean de LaBruyere
Jennifer Jones	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gillespie Magee	John Guarrine	John Kenneth Galbraith
Jonathan Carroll	Joseph Addison	Julius Henry Marx
J. M. Linsner	J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran
Karl Barth	Katharine Houghton Hepburn	Larry Gelbart
Laurie E. Colwin	Lewis Carroll	Louisa May Alcott
Mae West	Mahatma Gandhi	Martin Luther
Max Beerbohm	Max Forrester Eastman	Maya Angelou
Mel Brooks	Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes
Milton Berle	Napolean Bonaparte	Nicolas Chamfort
Niels Henrik David Bohr	Norman Cousins	Orison Swett Marden
Owen Gleiberman	Patricia Hitchcock	Peter's Almanac
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Reinhold Niebuhr
Rene Descartes	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Anson Heinlein	Robert Killinger	Robert Lee Frost
Rodney Dangerfield	Romain Gary	Ronald Reagan
Rupert Brooke	Russell Lynes	Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Samuel S. Janus	Shirley MacLaine	Sinclair Lewis
Sir Francis Bacon	Sir Walter Besant	Sri da Avabhas
Stephen Fry	Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort	Terry Cohen
Theodore M. Hesburgh	Umberto Eco	Victor Borge
Victor Hugo	Walter J. Lippmann	William Hazlitt
William Davis	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	Zsa Zsa Gabor	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
(William) Harvey Cox