Famous Quotes on Humor

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke."	Terry Cohen
"If its sanity you are after there is no recipe like laughter."	Henry Elliot
"One man's religion is another man's belly laugh."	Robert Anson Heinlein
"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution."	George Carlin
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."	Victor Borge
"It's hard to create humor because of the unfair competition from the real world."	Peter's Almanac
"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."	Henry Cate, VII
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."	Rene Descartes
"People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself."	Ethel Barrymore
"Nobody ever died of laughter."	Max Beerbohm
"Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, 'Hey, have you seen Fred?' And they'll say, 'Fred who?' And you say, 'Fred of snakes?' Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh."	Wystan Hugh Auden
"From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings."	Helen Hayes
"Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are, and what they ought to be."	William Hazlitt
"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."	Orison Swett Marden
"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman-or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle."	George Burns
"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world."	Sir Walter Besant
"Life is a joke. The only way to survive it is to find the right punchline."	Becky Alunan
"My life has been one great big joke A dance that's walked A song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke When I think about myself."	Maya Angelou
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Abraham Lincoln	Alan Alda	Albert Einstein
Allison Kearney	Amy Grant	Anne Frank
Ann Landers	Anthony Burgess	Aristotle
Arnold H. Glasgow	Author Unknown	Becky Alunan
Bennett Alfred Cerf	Bertolt Brecht	Bill Cosby
Bill Bryson	Bob Newhart	Boy George
B. J. Gupta	Charles De Gaulle	Charles Hendrickson Brower
Clarence Seward Darrow	Clifton Paul Fadiman	Cullen Hightower
Dan Fielding	Dean Koontz	Dick Clark
Dorothy Parker	Douglas Adams	D(avid) H(erbert) Lawrence
Edgar Watson Howe	Edward Albee	Elbert Hubbard
Ellie Katz	Elsa Maxwell	Eric Idle
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Ethel Barrymore
Eugene Lam	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Frank A. Clark
Fred Allen	Freeman John Dyson	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
George	George Burns	George Carlin
George Barrell Cheever	George Gordon	George Gordon Byron
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Gloria Steinem
Golda Meir	Gordon William Allport	Groucho Marx
Helen Hayes	Henny Youngman	Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Cate, VII	Henry Elliot	Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Miller	Herbert Gardner	Herman Melville
Hilaire Belloc	Homer McLin	H. G. Mendelson
Isaac Asimov	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jean de LaBruyere
Jennifer Jones	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gillespie Magee	John Guarrine	John Kenneth Galbraith
Jonathan Carroll	Joseph Addison	Julius Henry Marx
J. M. Linsner	J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran
Karl Barth	Katharine Houghton Hepburn	Larry Gelbart
Laurie E. Colwin	Lewis Carroll	Louisa May Alcott
Mae West	Mahatma Gandhi	Martin Luther
Max Beerbohm	Max Forrester Eastman	Maya Angelou
Mel Brooks	Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes
Milton Berle	Napolean Bonaparte	Nicolas Chamfort
Niels Henrik David Bohr	Norman Cousins	Orison Swett Marden
Owen Gleiberman	Patricia Hitchcock	Peter's Almanac
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Reinhold Niebuhr
Rene Descartes	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Anson Heinlein	Robert Killinger	Robert Lee Frost
Rodney Dangerfield	Romain Gary	Ronald Reagan
Rupert Brooke	Russell Lynes	Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Samuel S. Janus	Shirley MacLaine	Sinclair Lewis
Sir Francis Bacon	Sir Walter Besant	Sri da Avabhas
Stephen Fry	Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort	Terry Cohen
Theodore M. Hesburgh	Umberto Eco	Victor Borge
Victor Hugo	Walter J. Lippmann	William Hazlitt
William Davis	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	Zsa Zsa Gabor	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
(William) Harvey Cox