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"If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."
Martin Luther
"If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If your cat falls out of a tree, go indoors to laugh."
Patricia Hitchcock
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
Sir Francis Bacon
"In order to find a good quotation in a dictionary of humorous quotations, I didn't leave any stone unturned."
B. J. Gupta
"In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh."
Wystan Hugh Auden
"It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment."
Freeman John Dyson
"It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously."
Stephen Fry
"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down…. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."
Max Forrester Eastman
"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it."
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it."
Author Unknown
"It's hard to create humor because of the unfair competition from the real world."
Peter's Almanac
"It's no accident many accuse me of conducting public affairs with my heart instead of my head. Well, what if I do? ... Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either."
Golda Meir
"It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments."
Isaac Asimov
"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."
Orison Swett Marden
"Keep me away from the wisdom that does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children."
Kahlil Gibran
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