Famous Quotes on Humor

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."	Martin Luther
"If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If your cat falls out of a tree, go indoors to laugh."	Patricia Hitchcock
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."	Sir Francis Bacon
"In order to find a good quotation in a dictionary of humorous quotations, I didn't leave any stone unturned."	B. J. Gupta
"In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh."	Wystan Hugh Auden
"It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment."	Freeman John Dyson
"It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously."	Stephen Fry
"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down…. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."	Gilbert Keith Chesterton
"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."	Max Forrester Eastman
"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it."	Gilbert Keith Chesterton
"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it."	Author Unknown
"It's hard to create humor because of the unfair competition from the real world."	Peter's Almanac
"It's no accident many accuse me of conducting public affairs with my heart instead of my head. Well, what if I do? ... Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either."	Golda Meir
"It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments."	Isaac Asimov
"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."	Orison Swett Marden
"Keep me away from the wisdom that does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children."	Kahlil Gibran
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Abraham Lincoln	Alan Alda	Albert Einstein
Allison Kearney	Amy Grant	Anne Frank
Ann Landers	Anthony Burgess	Aristotle
Arnold H. Glasgow	Author Unknown	Becky Alunan
Bennett Alfred Cerf	Bertolt Brecht	Bill Cosby
Bill Bryson	Bob Newhart	Boy George
B. J. Gupta	Charles De Gaulle	Charles Hendrickson Brower
Clarence Seward Darrow	Clifton Paul Fadiman	Cullen Hightower
Dan Fielding	Dean Koontz	Dick Clark
Dorothy Parker	Douglas Adams	D(avid) H(erbert) Lawrence
Edgar Watson Howe	Edward Albee	Elbert Hubbard
Ellie Katz	Elsa Maxwell	Eric Idle
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Ethel Barrymore
Eugene Lam	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Frank A. Clark
Fred Allen	Freeman John Dyson	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
George	George Burns	George Carlin
George Barrell Cheever	George Gordon	George Gordon Byron
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Gloria Steinem
Golda Meir	Gordon William Allport	Groucho Marx
Helen Hayes	Henny Youngman	Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Cate, VII	Henry Elliot	Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Miller	Herbert Gardner	Herman Melville
Hilaire Belloc	Homer McLin	H. G. Mendelson
Isaac Asimov	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jean de LaBruyere
Jennifer Jones	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gillespie Magee	John Guarrine	John Kenneth Galbraith
Jonathan Carroll	Joseph Addison	Julius Henry Marx
J. M. Linsner	J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran
Karl Barth	Katharine Houghton Hepburn	Larry Gelbart
Laurie E. Colwin	Lewis Carroll	Louisa May Alcott
Mae West	Mahatma Gandhi	Martin Luther
Max Beerbohm	Max Forrester Eastman	Maya Angelou
Mel Brooks	Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes
Milton Berle	Napolean Bonaparte	Nicolas Chamfort
Niels Henrik David Bohr	Norman Cousins	Orison Swett Marden
Owen Gleiberman	Patricia Hitchcock	Peter's Almanac
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Reinhold Niebuhr
Rene Descartes	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Anson Heinlein	Robert Killinger	Robert Lee Frost
Rodney Dangerfield	Romain Gary	Ronald Reagan
Rupert Brooke	Russell Lynes	Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Samuel S. Janus	Shirley MacLaine	Sinclair Lewis
Sir Francis Bacon	Sir Walter Besant	Sri da Avabhas
Stephen Fry	Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort	Terry Cohen
Theodore M. Hesburgh	Umberto Eco	Victor Borge
Victor Hugo	Walter J. Lippmann	William Hazlitt
William Davis	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	Zsa Zsa Gabor	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
(William) Harvey Cox