Famous Quotes on Humor

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off to go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening, when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life."	Joseph Addison
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."	Fred Allen
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."	Wystan Hugh Auden
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone."	Anthony Burgess
"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge That myth is more potent than history That dreams are more powerful than facts That hope always triumphs over experience That laughter is the only cure for grief And I believe that love is stronger than death."	Robert
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."	Max Forrester Eastman
"If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."	Martin Luther
"Separated lovers cheat absence by a thousand fancies which have their own reality. They are prevented from seeing one another and they cannot write; nevertheless they find countless mysterious ways of corresponding, by sending each other the song of birds, the scent of flowers, the laughter of children, the light of the sun, the sighing of the wind, and the gleam of the stars-all the beauties of creation."	Victor Hugo
"If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, 'Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory."	Alan Alda
"So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter."	Gordon William Allport
"The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been able to live happily for thousands of years in a state of genial frailty."	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
"What was significant about the laughter . . . was not just the fact that it provides internal exercise for a person . . .a form of jogging for the innards, but that it creates a mood in which the other positive emotions can be put to work, too."	Norman Cousins
"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him."	Romain Gary
"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children."	Kahlil Gibran
"Life is God's joke on us. It's our mission to figure out the punchline."	John Guarrine
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Bill Bryson	Bob Newhart	Boy George
B. J. Gupta	Charles De Gaulle	Charles Hendrickson Brower
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Dorothy Parker	Douglas Adams	D(avid) H(erbert) Lawrence
Edgar Watson Howe	Edward Albee	Elbert Hubbard
Ellie Katz	Elsa Maxwell	Eric Idle
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Ethel Barrymore
Eugene Lam	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Frank A. Clark
Fred Allen	Freeman John Dyson	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
George	George Burns	George Carlin
George Barrell Cheever	George Gordon	George Gordon Byron
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Gloria Steinem
Golda Meir	Gordon William Allport	Groucho Marx
Helen Hayes	Henny Youngman	Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Cate, VII	Henry Elliot	Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Miller	Herbert Gardner	Herman Melville
Hilaire Belloc	Homer McLin	H. G. Mendelson
Isaac Asimov	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jean de LaBruyere
Jennifer Jones	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gillespie Magee	John Guarrine	John Kenneth Galbraith
Jonathan Carroll	Joseph Addison	Julius Henry Marx
J. M. Linsner	J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran
Karl Barth	Katharine Houghton Hepburn	Larry Gelbart
Laurie E. Colwin	Lewis Carroll	Louisa May Alcott
Mae West	Mahatma Gandhi	Martin Luther
Max Beerbohm	Max Forrester Eastman	Maya Angelou
Mel Brooks	Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes
Milton Berle	Napolean Bonaparte	Nicolas Chamfort
Niels Henrik David Bohr	Norman Cousins	Orison Swett Marden
Owen Gleiberman	Patricia Hitchcock	Peter's Almanac
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Reinhold Niebuhr
Rene Descartes	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Anson Heinlein	Robert Killinger	Robert Lee Frost
Rodney Dangerfield	Romain Gary	Ronald Reagan
Rupert Brooke	Russell Lynes	Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Samuel S. Janus	Shirley MacLaine	Sinclair Lewis
Sir Francis Bacon	Sir Walter Besant	Sri da Avabhas
Stephen Fry	Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort	Terry Cohen
Theodore M. Hesburgh	Umberto Eco	Victor Borge
Victor Hugo	Walter J. Lippmann	William Hazlitt
William Davis	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	Zsa Zsa Gabor	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
(William) Harvey Cox