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"For health and the constant enjoyment of life, give me a keen and ever-present sense of humor; it is the next best thing to an abiding faith in providence."
George Barrell Cheever
"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I'll forgive Thy great big one on me."
Robert Lee Frost
"From quiet homes and first beginning, Out to the undiscovered ends, There's nothing worth the wear of winning, But laughter and the love of friends."
Hilaire Belloc
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
Julius Henry Marx
"From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings."
Helen Hayes
"God laughs, it seems, because God knows how it all turns out in the end."
(William) Harvey Cox
"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman-or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle."
George Burns
"Harrison Ford as the President of the United States [in Air Force One] is such a perfect piece of casting that it's once a fantasy and a joke: The joke is how perfect the fantasy is."
Owen Gleiberman
"He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery."
Dorothy Parker
"He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor."
Bill Bryson
"He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor."
Bill Bryson
"He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, 'Dust to dust,' some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven---with a gun.'"
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"He who has achieved success has worked well, laughed often and loved much."
Elbert Hubbard
"He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke."
Terry Cohen
"Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go 'Whoa! Whoa!' and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Housekeeping ain't no joke."
Louisa May Alcott
"How can they tell?"
Dorothy Parker
"How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?"
Charles De Gaulle
"Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?"
Dick Clark
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