Famous Quotes on Humor

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"Today is the last day of some of your life."	Author Unknown
"Without geography, you're nowhere."	Author Unknown
"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it."	Author Unknown
"I plan on living forever. So far, so good."	Author Unknown
"And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"	Author Unknown
"When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football."	Author Unknown
"The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg."	Author Unknown
"A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now."	Author Unknown
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes."	Author Unknown
"Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years."	Author Unknown
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"	Author Unknown
"When you become senile, you won't know it."	Bill Cosby
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."	Mahatma Gandhi
"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."	Henny Youngman
"We were both in love with him�. I fell out of love with him, but he didn't."	Zsa Zsa Gabor
"When I'm alone, I can sleep crossways in bed without an argument."	Zsa Zsa Gabor
"She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong."	Mae West
"I can do anything. In GQ, I appeared as a man."	Boy George
"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."	Isaac Asimov
"Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions."	Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Abraham Lincoln	Alan Alda	Albert Einstein
Allison Kearney	Amy Grant	Anne Frank
Ann Landers	Anthony Burgess	Aristotle
Arnold H. Glasgow	Author Unknown	Becky Alunan
Bennett Alfred Cerf	Bertolt Brecht	Bill Cosby
Bill Bryson	Bob Newhart	Boy George
B. J. Gupta	Charles De Gaulle	Charles Hendrickson Brower
Clarence Seward Darrow	Clifton Paul Fadiman	Cullen Hightower
Dan Fielding	Dean Koontz	Dick Clark
Dorothy Parker	Douglas Adams	D(avid) H(erbert) Lawrence
Edgar Watson Howe	Edward Albee	Elbert Hubbard
Ellie Katz	Elsa Maxwell	Eric Idle
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Ethel Barrymore
Eugene Lam	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Frank A. Clark
Fred Allen	Freeman John Dyson	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
George	George Burns	George Carlin
George Barrell Cheever	George Gordon	George Gordon Byron
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Gloria Steinem
Golda Meir	Gordon William Allport	Groucho Marx
Helen Hayes	Henny Youngman	Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Cate, VII	Henry Elliot	Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Miller	Herbert Gardner	Herman Melville
Hilaire Belloc	Homer McLin	H. G. Mendelson
Isaac Asimov	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jean de LaBruyere
Jennifer Jones	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gillespie Magee	John Guarrine	John Kenneth Galbraith
Jonathan Carroll	Joseph Addison	Julius Henry Marx
J. M. Linsner	J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran
Karl Barth	Katharine Houghton Hepburn	Larry Gelbart
Laurie E. Colwin	Lewis Carroll	Louisa May Alcott
Mae West	Mahatma Gandhi	Martin Luther
Max Beerbohm	Max Forrester Eastman	Maya Angelou
Mel Brooks	Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes
Milton Berle	Napolean Bonaparte	Nicolas Chamfort
Niels Henrik David Bohr	Norman Cousins	Orison Swett Marden
Owen Gleiberman	Patricia Hitchcock	Peter's Almanac
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Reinhold Niebuhr
Rene Descartes	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Anson Heinlein	Robert Killinger	Robert Lee Frost
Rodney Dangerfield	Romain Gary	Ronald Reagan
Rupert Brooke	Russell Lynes	Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Samuel S. Janus	Shirley MacLaine	Sinclair Lewis
Sir Francis Bacon	Sir Walter Besant	Sri da Avabhas
Stephen Fry	Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort	Terry Cohen
Theodore M. Hesburgh	Umberto Eco	Victor Borge
Victor Hugo	Walter J. Lippmann	William Hazlitt
William Davis	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	Zsa Zsa Gabor	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
(William) Harvey Cox