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"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick 'Americans' as their mascot."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'"
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope that no American ... will waste his franchise and throw away his vote by voting either for me or against me solely on account of my religious affiliation. It is not relevant."
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?"
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I knew from the start if I left a woman I really loved -- the Great Society -- in order to fight that bitch of a war [in Vietnam] … then I would lose everything at home. My hopes … my dreams."
Lyndon Baines Johnson
"I often wonder whether we do not rest our hopes too much upon constitutions, upon laws and upon courts. These are false hopes; believe me, these are false hopes. Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it..."
Learned Hand
"I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"I steer my bark with hope in the head, leaving fear astern. My hopes indeed sometimes fail, but not oftener than the forebodings of the gloomy."
Thomas Jefferson
"I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series."
Jerry Coleman
"I take as my guide the hope of a saint: in crucial things, unity - in important things, diversity - in all things, generosity."
George Herbert Walker Bush
"I will ignore all ideas for new works on engines of war, the invention of which has reached its limits and for whose improvements I see no further hope."
Sextus Julius Frontinus
"I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I could give you a lot of advice, based on my experience of winning political debates. But I don't have that experience. My only experience is at losing them."
Richard Milhouse Nixon
"I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe there would be thousands of other people shrunken down to ant-size, and we would get together and dig tunnels down into the ground and live there. But don't ever call us 'ants,' because we hate that."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wish I could write well enough to write about aircraft. Faulkner did it very well in Pylon but you cannot do something someone else has done though you might have done it if they hadn't."
Ernest Miller Hemingway
"I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back."
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
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