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"Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou." Dave Barry 4.5000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs." Dave Barry 4.2500 average rating Rate this Quote
"We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00" Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable." Dave Barry 4.5000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?" Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." Dave Barry 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Black holes are where God divided by zero." Dave Barry 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain." Dave Barry 4.6667 average rating Rate this Quote
"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?" Dave Barry Rate this Quote
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." Dave Barry Rate this Quote
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Mark Twain Mike Tyson Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Wilde Pablo Picasso Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Rodney Dangerfield Saint Augustine Stephen Hawking
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