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"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and drove into the river."
Abraham Maslow
"The telephone pole was approaching fast and I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front."
Abraham Maslow
"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows."
Abraham Maslow
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
Abraham Maslow
"It is unfortunate to consider all lawyers as natural Satanists many are just dumb."
Abraham Maslow
"The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg."
Abraham Maslow
"Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture."
Abraham Maslow
"But they are useless. They can only give you answers."
Pablo Picasso
"There is no truth. There is only perception."
Gustave Flaubert
"When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do."
William Blake
"A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one."
Rita Mae Brown
"The trouble about man is twofold. He cannot learn truths which are too complicated; he forgets truths which are too simple."
Rebecca West
"Where do I want to go today? Poland, Czechoslovakia, France. Can Microsoft Office do that for me?"
Adolf Hitler
"Looking at Capitol Hill is like looking at that Escher picture of the wild geese flying together: makes no fucking sense and occasionally shits on your head."
Dennis Miller
"I am proof that Einstein's "e equals m c squared" is wrong. My mass has increased, but my energy has dropped."
Dennis Miller
"How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching."
Dennis Miller
"When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat."
Dennis Miller
"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog."
Doug Larson
"Truth is truth To the end of reckoning."
William Shakespeare
"God - the John Doe of philosophy and religion."
Elbert Hubbard
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