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"24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?" Groucho Marx 4.7143 average rating Rate this Quote
"50% of all married people are women" Yogi Berra 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"50% of the putts that are left short don't go in." Yogi Berra 3.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"A day without sunshine is like night." Douglas Adams 4.2667 average rating Rate this Quote
"A hole had just appeared in the Galaxy. It was exactly a nothingth of a second long, a nothingth of an inch wide, and quite a lot of million light years from end to end. As it closed up [...] Two hundred and thirty-nine thousand lightly fried eggs fell out of it...materializing in a large woobly heap on the famine-struck land of Poghril in the Pansel system. The whole Poghril tribe had died out from famine except for one last man who died of cholesterol poisoning some weeks later." Douglas Adams 4.5000 average rating Rate this Quote
"A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one." Rita Mae Brown 3.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." Abraham Maslow Rate this Quote
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it." Author Unknown Rate this Quote
"A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" Dave Barry 2.7500 average rating Rate this Quote
"A reporter once said to John Lennon that Decca would be kicking themselves for rejecting the beatles, Lennon instantly replied, "I hope they kick themselves to death." Yogi Berra 4.3333 average rating Rate this Quote
"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call." Dave Barry 4.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"A van backed through my windscreen into my wife's face." Abraham Maslow Rate this Quote
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished." Abraham Maslow Rate this Quote
"An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead." Homer Simpson 4.2500 average rating Rate this Quote
"And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary." Mark Twain 4.8000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Any tax is a discouragement and therefore a regulation so far as it goes." Oliver Wendell Holmes Rate this Quote
"Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense." Ambrose Bierce 2.0000 average rating Rate this Quote
"As President, I have no eyes but constitutional eyes; I cannot see you." Abraham Lincoln 4.5000 average rating Rate this Quote
"Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?" Author Unknown Rate this Quote
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Abraham Lincoln Abraham Maslow Adolf Hitler
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Author Unknown Baltasar Gracian Benjamin Franklin
Bertrand Russell Buckminster Fuller Charles De Gaulle
Christopher Morley Clarence Darrow Dale Carnegie
Dave Barry Dennis Miller Dorothy Parker
Doug Larson Douglas Adams Elbert Hubbard
Eleanor Roosevelt Emily Dickinson Fran Lebowitz
Francis Bacon George Bernard Shaw George Carlin
George Santayana Groucho Marx Gustave Flaubert
Henny Youngman Henry Ford Henry Van Dyke
Homer Simpson Isaac Asimov John F. Kennedy
Jules Renard Kahlil Gibran Leo Tolstoy
Mark Twain Mike Tyson Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Wilde Pablo Picasso Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rebecca West Rita Mae Brown Robert Browning
Rodney Dangerfield Saint Augustine Stephen Hawking
Theodore Roosevelt Thomas Jefferson Thomas Paine
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