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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"Opportunity knocks at the strangest times, It's not the time that matters But how you answer the door."	Steve Gray
"I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays--let them overtake me unexpectedly--waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: "Why this is Christmas Day!"	David Grayson
"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."	Lewis Grizzard
"Religions must continue to evolve to keep up with changing times, because only fittest shall survive."	B. J. Gupta
"Life goes through changes so fast, you think your life is great, than one of your best friends dies. Then you think you found someone you truly love, only to figure out, she doesn't love you back. You cry and cry and cry, but nothing changes. You realize, that you must accept things for what they are, and what they have made you become.Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser, as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them. There's always tomorrow."	Adam R. Gwizdala
"Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser, as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them. There is always tomorrow."	Adam R. Gwizdala
"Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"If you're a boxing referee, it's probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly'? I'm afraid some people might actually think that."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He'd get right up next to your face and yell, and if you didn't have the right answers, mister, you'd be peeling potatoes or changing the latrine. Hey, wait. I wasn't in the army. Then who WAS that guy?!"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll change their tune after a little torture."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Sometimes I think the so-called experts actually ARE experts."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I wonder if the polite thing to do is always the right thing to do. When I met the family from Japan, they all bowed. I pretended like I was going to bow, but then I just kept going and flipped over on my back. I did this five times. I think they got the point."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, 'Think again, bat man.'"	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
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Abraham Lincoln	Abraham Joshua Heschel	Adam R. Gwizdala
Agatha Christie	Akhenaton	Alan Marshall Beck
Albert Camus	Albert Einstein	Aldous Leonard Huxley
Alexandre Dumas	Alighieri Dante	Alphonse Karr
Al Bernstein	Al Kersha	Amanda Heggs
Anatole France	Andrew Klaven	Angel Blessing
Anne Dudley Bradstreet	Ann Diehl	Anthony Brandt
Aristotle	Arthur C(harles) Clarke	Author Unknown
A(rthur) C(hristopher) Benson	Barbara Charline Jordan	Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin "Dizzy" Disraeli	Beth Knight	Bruce Barton
Buddha	B. J. Gupta	Carlos Castaneda
Carl Gustav Jung	Carol Burnett	Charles Dickens
Charles Franklin Kettering	Charles Langbridge Morgan	Charles Robert Darwin
Chinese Curse	Clarence Day	Clive James
Clive Staples Lewis	Confucius	Dan Kelly
David Grayson	Dean Koontz	Donald J. Adams
Dorothy DeBolt	Doug Larson	Douglas Noel Adams
Dr.	Dr. Joyce	Dr. Samuel Johnson
Duncan Maxwell Anderson	Earl Nightingale	Eddie Cantor
Edith Ann	Edmund Burke	Edward C. Banfield
Edward de Bono	Edward R(oscoe) Murrow	Elizabeth Bowen
Eli Khamarov	Emma Bunton	Erica Mann Jong
Erich Fromm	Eric Hoffer	Eric Lustbader
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Eugene V. Debs
Euripides	Evan Esar	Everett McKinley Dirksen
Federico Fellni	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Francis Bacon
Franklin P. Adams	Franklin P. Jones	François de Salignac de la Mothe Fenelon
Geoffrey F. Abert	George Carlin	George Frost Kennan
George Gordon Byron	George Herbert	George Herbert Allen
George Herbert Walker Bush	George Klingle	George Stanley McGovern
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Giordano Bruno	Glenda Cloud
Gustave Flaubert	Guy	G Gaia
Hannah Arendt	Harold Howe II	Harry Emerson Fosdick
Hazel Henderson	Hebrews 11:1-2 Bible	Hector Hugh Munro
Helen Adams Keller	Henry Wadsworth Longfellow	Henry Louis Mencken
Heraclitus	Herman Melville	Hermes
Hillary Rodham Clinton	H(elena) P(etrovna) Hahn Blavatsky	Isak Dinesen
Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jacques Maritain	James Arthur Baldwin
James Earl "Jimmy" Carter, Jr.	James Russel Lowell	Jan Ashford
Jerry Coleman	Jesse Louis Jackson	Job 14:14 Bible: Hebrew
Joel Barker	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Dewey
John Milton	John Burroughs	John Dryden
John Fitzgerald Kennedy	John Kenneth Galbraith	Joseph Brodsky
Judge John Kane	Junius	J(ames) William Fulbright
Kareem Abdul-Jabar	Karen Kaiser Clark	Katharine Houghton Hepburn
Kim Hubbard	Kingman Brewster, Jr.	Kurt Lewin
Lady Nancy Astor	Larry Niven	Lawrence Peter Berra
Leonardo da Vinci	Lester R(obert) Bittel	Lewis Carroll
Lewis Grizzard	Lillian Hellman	Lisa Alther
Lucius Gary	Ludwig van Beethoven	Lyndon Baines Johnson
Maggie Kuhn	Marcus Aelius Aurelius	Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Marcus Tullius Cicero	Margaret Mead	Marian Wright Edelman
Marilyn Ferguson	Mark Twain	Marquis de Sade
Martin Luther King, Jr.	Max Lerner	Maya Angelou
Michael Gartner	Michael Landon	Michael Masukawa
Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes	Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev
Miles Dewey Davis	Miles Dewey Davis, Jr.	Millard Fillmore
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi	M. I. Abramowitz	M. Morris
Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela	Niels Henrik David Bohr	Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.	Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.	Orison Swett Marden
Oswald Mosley	Paul Harvey	Pearl Bailey
Peter Medawar	Philip	Phyllis Bottome
Phyllis McGinley	Proverbs 17:17 Bible	Proverbs 24:16a Bible
Quentin Crisp	Ralph Waldo Emerson	Reinhold Niebuhr
Reinhold Neibuhr	Rene Descartes	Richard David Bach
Richard Milhouse Nixon	Richard M. Devos	Richard Phillips Feynman
Robert	Robert Browning	Robert Burns
Robert Charles Benchley	Robert Herrick	Robert Lee Frost
Robyn Davidson	Roger Anderson	Saint Augustine
Adela Rogers St. Johns	Saint Francis of Assisi	Samuel Beckett
Samuel Butler	Sir Francis Bacon	Sir James Matthew Barrie
Sir John Lubbock	Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill	Stephen King
Stephen R. Covey	Steve Gray	Stuti Garg
Suzanne Heller	Sydney J. Harris	S(amuel) I(chiye) Hayakawa
Søren Aaby Kierkegaard	Thomas Carlyle	Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Mann	Tom Clancy	Tom Hopkins
Tryon Edwards	Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh	Victor Hugo
Walter Beakel	Walt(er) Elias Disney	William James
William Adams	William Drayton	William Edgar Borah
William James "Will" Durant	William Jefferson Clinton	William Seward Burroughs
W(illiam) Edwards Deming	W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	(Bessie) Lillian
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