Woody Allen

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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion."	Excellence
"At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time."	Men, Mistakes, Time
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."	Sin
"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage."	Age, Men
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."	Evil, Love, Patience
"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered."	Time
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."	Miscellaneous
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."	Business
"The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants."	Art
"The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants."	Television
"I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse."	Success, Insults
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."	Success, Insults
"Natasha, to love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness, I hope you're getting this down."	Love
"Natasha, to love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness, I hope you're getting this down."	Friendship, Dreams
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"	God, Stupidity
"If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out."	God, Stupidity
"Be alert... the world needs more lerts."	God, Stupidity
"I had an IQ test. The results came back negative."	God, Stupidity
"I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."	God, Stupidity
"Death should not be seen as the end but as a very effective way to cut down expenses."	God, Stupidity
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Browse Woody Allen quotes by category:

Ability	Accomplishment	Achievement
Age	Anti-God	Art
Atheism	Baseball	Basketball
Business	Choice	Crime
Death	Desires	Dreams
Education	Evil	Excellence
Experience	Failure	Faith
Fear	Freedom	Friendship
God	Good	Happiness
History	Honesty	Hope
Humor	Insults	Intelligence
Joy	Knowledge	Laughter
Liberty	Lies	Life
Love	Marriage	Memory
Men	Military	Miscellaneous
Mistakes	Monarchy	Money
Music	Nature	Patience
Peace	Power	Quotations
Reading	School	Sex
Sin	Sleeping	Stupidity
Success	Teaching	Television
Time	Truth	Wants
War	Wisdom	Wishing
Women