Woody Allen

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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."	Education, School, Teaching
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."	Failure
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."	Success
"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."	Choice, History, Hope
"Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down."	Death, Lies
"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."	Death, Experience
"Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind."	Knowledge, Wisdom
"When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."	Education, School, Teaching
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."	Accomplishment, Achievement, Death
"Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name."	Miscellaneous
"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."	Evil, Good, Happiness
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."	Money
"I am at two with nature."	Nature
"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."	Ability, Life
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead."	Death, Desires, Wants
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."	Art, Memory
"I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven."	Faith, Freedom, Honesty
"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."	Death, Desires, Fear
"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."	Military, Peace, Reading
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."	Death, Lies
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Browse Woody Allen quotes by category:

Ability	Accomplishment	Achievement
Age	Anti-God	Art
Atheism	Baseball	Basketball
Business	Choice	Crime
Death	Desires	Dreams
Education	Evil	Excellence
Experience	Failure	Faith
Fear	Freedom	Friendship
God	Good	Happiness
History	Honesty	Hope
Humor	Insults	Intelligence
Joy	Knowledge	Laughter
Liberty	Lies	Life
Love	Marriage	Memory
Men	Military	Miscellaneous
Mistakes	Monarchy	Money
Music	Nature	Patience
Peace	Power	Quotations
Reading	School	Sex
Sin	Sleeping	Stupidity
Success	Teaching	Television
Time	Truth	Wants
War	Wisdom	Wishing
Women