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:: Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Ranking: 58th
View Biography of Will Rogers on www.s9.com
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"For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity."
America
"There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don't even have to exaggerate."
Government
"Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago."
Government
"I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it."
Anti-Religion
,
War
"I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that I've every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we can't confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on."
Anti-Religion
,
War
"The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If it's not going to go up, don't buy it!"
God
,
Stupidity
"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."
Wisdom
"There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone."
Wisdom
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
Economics
,
Retirement
"If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership."
America
"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
America
"People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing."
Anger
"People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please."
Business
"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
Education
"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."
Education
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
Government
,
Effort
"Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches."
Freedom
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."
Government
"A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn't know history. He don't know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read."
Economics
,
History
"We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity."
Justice
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