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:: Groucho Marx
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Comedians
Groucho Marx
Ranking: 46th
Biography of Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx's quotes
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"24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?"
God
,
Stupidity
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
Children
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
Humor
"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light."
God
,
Stupidity
"Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?"
Success
,
Insults
"Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose."
Wisdom
"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."
God
,
Stupidity
"Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot."
Success
,
Insults
"Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world."
Success
,
Insults
"He's a male chauvinistic piglet."
Success
,
Insults
"Humor is reason gone mad."
Humor
"I could dance with you until the cows come home... on second thoughts, I'll dance with the cows and you go home."
Success
,
Insults
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
Anti-God
,
Books
"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8…. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
Television
"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8…. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
Art
"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
God
,
Stupidity
"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it!"
Success
,
Insults
"I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it."
Success
,
Insults
"If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham."
God
,
Stupidity
"If you go by the book then you have no book of your own to write."
Wisdom
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