Groucho Marx

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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."	Money
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."	Anti-God, Books
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."	Children
"It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."	Money
"Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."	Sex
"Humor is reason gone mad."	Humor
"I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it."	Success, Insults
"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does."	Marriage
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook."	Comedy, Honesty
"In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know."	Wisdom
"Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose."	Wisdom
"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others."	God, Stupidity
"Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana."	God, Stupidity
"If you want to know where God is ask a drunk."	God, Stupidity
"If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong."	Wisdom
"If you go by the book then you have no book of your own to write."	Wisdom
"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."	God, Stupidity
"24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?"	God, Stupidity
"Patience is the art of finding something else to do."	God, Stupidity
"While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery."	God, Stupidity
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Anti-God	Art	Books
Children	Comedy	God
Government	Honesty	Humor
Insults	Marriage	Money
Politics	Sex	Stupidity
Success	Television	Wisdom