George Carlin

Ranking: 202nd
Biography of George Carlin
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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror."	Baseball
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."	Love, Death
"Fuck all the people who say, "God bless," and then don't bother to complete the sentence. Who they are, I haven't the slightest. But, if I were God, I would not honor such a request."	God
"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution."	Humor
"I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed."	Economics, Change
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."	Religion
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."	Anti-God, Birth
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."	Anti-God, Birthdays
"Tonight's weather, dark, continuing mostly dark tonight, leading to widely scattered areas of light in the morning."	God, Stupidity
"We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."	Thanksgiving

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Anti-God	Baseball	Birth
Birthdays	Change	Death
Economics	God	Humor
Love	Religion	Stupidity
Thanksgiving