Fred Allen

Ranking: 99th
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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"California is a fine place to live -- if you happen to be an orange."	Life
"The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand."	Age, Love, Monarchy
"If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard - let him worry about cutting it."	Worrying
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."	Miscellaneous
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."	Darkness, Knowledge, Life
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."	Humor
"Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne-sounds like a trunk falling down a flight of stairs."	Humor
"Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut."	Humor
"When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter."	Art
"When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter."	Television
"Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent."	Art
"Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent."	Television
"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."	Family
"Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans."	Food
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."	Quotations
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."	Humor
"The triumph of machine over people."	Television
"I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four."	Women
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."	Television
"Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done."	Television

Browse Fred Allen quotes by category:

Age	Art	Darkness
Family	Food	Humor
Knowledge	Life	Light
Love	Miscellaneous	Monarchy
Quotations	Television	Time
Wisdom	Women	Worrying