Fran Lebowitz

Ranking: 110th
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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."	Life, Sleeping
"The controversial overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive."	Accomplishment, Achievement
"Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."	Life
"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky."	Lies
"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."	Age, Happiness, Joy
"The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive-you are leaking."	Beauty, Faith, Honesty
"If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract -- teach him to deduct."	Education, School, Teaching
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."	Ability, Beauty, Intelligence
"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying."	Desires, Wants
"Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add."	Sin
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."	God, Stupidity
"Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass."	Art
"Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter."	Food
"Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications."	Writing
"I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult."	Children
"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."	Success
"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."	Writing
"I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota."	Friendship, Drugs

Browse Fran Lebowitz quotes by category:

Ability	Accomplishment	Achievement
Age	Art	Beauty
Children	Desires	Drugs
Education	Faith	Food
Friendship	God	Happiness
Honesty	Intelligence	Joy
Lies	Life	Memory
Monarchy	School	Sin
Sleeping	Stupidity	Success
Teaching	Truth	Wants
Writing