Dave Barry

Ranking: 11th
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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."	God, Stupidity
"Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast."	God, Stupidity
"Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00"	God, Stupidity
"Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."	God, Stupidity
"Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?"	God, Stupidity
"Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques."	God, Stupidity
"Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."	God, Stupidity
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose."	God, Stupidity
"Black holes are where God divided by zero."	God, Stupidity
"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."	God, Stupidity
"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor."	God, Stupidity
"How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?"	God, Stupidity
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."	God, Stupidity
"Many people quit looking for work when they find a job."	God, Stupidity
"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have."	God, Stupidity
"I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy."	God, Stupidity
"Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."	God, Stupidity
"Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved."	God, Stupidity
"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out."	God, Stupidity
"For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord."	God, Stupidity
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