Ambrose Bierce

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Biography of Ambrose Bierce
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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"A Christian is one who follows the teachings of Christ so long as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin."	Fear
"Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense."	God, Stupidity
"Calamity, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering."	Anti-Religion, Adversity
"Can I ask a rhetorical question? Well, can I?"	God, Stupidity
"Circus, n: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to so men, women and children acting the fool."	God, Stupidity
"Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E."	Business
"Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs."	Courage
"Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent."	Time
"Embalm, v.: To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dead and thereby deranging the natural balance between animal and vegetable life, the Egyptians made their once fertile and populous country barren and incapable of supporting more than a meagre crew. The modern metallic burial casket is a step in the same direction, and many a dead man who ought now to be ornamenting his neighbor's lawn as a tree, or enriching his table as a bunch of radishes, is doomed to a long inutility. We shall get him after awhile if we are spared, but in the meantime the violet and the rose are languishing for a nibble at his glutaeus maximus."	Love, Death
"Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness."	Holidays
"Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."	Happiness
"Historian: A broad-gauge gossip."	Economics, History
"House, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe."	Quotations
"I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities."	Fear
"Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization."	God, Technology
"Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable."	God, Stupidity
"Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage."	Justice
"Liberty, n: One of imaginations most precious possessions."	God, Stupidity
"Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions."	Freedom
"Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two."	Marriage
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Adversity	Age	Anger
Anti-Religion	Art	Business
Comedy	Conformity	Courage
Death	Dreams	Economics
Fear	Freedom	Friendship
God	Happiness	History
Holidays	Honesty	Insults
Justice	Love	Marriage
Philosophy	Photography	Politics
Quotations	Responsibility	Stupidity
Success	Technology	Time
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